The top ten films what I saw in 2006

10. Good Night And Good Luck.
George Clooney is a man with a long career ahead of him. Beautifully shot in black and white, this tells the story of what life was like for the media in McCarthy-era America. Clooney's biggest achievement was creating a look and feel that is one of the most authentic seen on cinema in a long time, and he also gets top marks for casting himself as the supporting actor, but blending seamlessly into the background so as to balance his actor/director duties. Good Night and Good Luck makes it painfully clear that although we think we are force-fed news and opinions half the time, it could have been a lot worse.

9. Brick
Brick was a surprise hit for me because it made a unique premise work on screen, and showed that Joseph Gordon-Levitt has come a long way from his days as Tommy Solomon in Third Rock From The Sun. It's always nice to see young actors move in to grown up cinema (even if he does play a high school kid in this one). Brick is a 1930's crime movie, deftly transplanted to a modern day high school. Although portions of the plot feel stretched to their limit, the humour is subtle yet hilarious, and the entire cast performs brilliantly.

8. Hard Candy
Any movie that makes grown men in the audience audibly squirm must be doing a pretty good job. Hard Candy is meant to challenge our compassion as human beings - we feel sorry for the man who has his testicles removed but he's a paedophile so should we feel sorry for him? And we hate the teenage girl for being so calculated and cruel and heartless for the torture she is inflicting on the guy but should we because at the beginning she was the victim of this man's depraved urges? Either way, it's a bit of a headfuck, and considering there's only two characters in pretty much the whole film, the script holds your attention and explores both characters without dragging on. Class.

7. London To Brighton
I like watching British films, and I like watching crime films. What I don't like is poorly produced ITV-style dramas, and Guy Ritchie films. Happily, London To Brighton is neither. It is a British crime movie that isn't full of cockney cliches and stereotypical dialogue. Or Vinny Jones. Each flashback in this film unravels a little more of the mystery - there's a prostitute with a black eye and an 11-year old girl on the run, but from whom, and why? - and the finale does not disappoint. Excellently paced, you are itching to find out more as the film goes on and director Paul Andrew Williams could be one to watch in the future.

6. Superman Returns
After watching Christopher Nolan capture lightning in a bottle with Batman Begins, could Bryan Singer do the same with Superman - re-invent a classic superhero after watching his good name destroyed by lacklustre sequels? The answer was a resounding yes. Never mind the special effects, which were extrordinary, and never mind that theme tune, the stars of this film were Brandon Routh who at times you felt was playing Christopher Reeve himself, and director Singer who at the same time managed to compare his hero to Jesus Christ, and poke mild fun at the franchise too. Can the forthcoming Man Of Steel do what other Superman sequels failed to do, and keep the franchise going?

5. Little Miss Sunshine
A frustrated father who constantly spouts so-called "motivational" speeches yet can't get published, a son with an obsession with Nietzche who has taken a vow of silence, a daughter who wants nothing more than to enter a beauty pageant despite the fact that she is something of an ugly duckling, a homosexual uncle with an affinity for Proust, a drug-taking grandfather and a mother trying to hold the entire unit together. Roll up for the weirdest road movie ever. Fabulous performances, especially from Steve Carell who delightfully underplays his role, but ultimately from little Abigail Breslin - one of the best child actors seen on screen in a long time. Top notch film, funny and engaging, and manages to throw in a touch of social commentary too.

4. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
Without a shadow of a doubt, the funniest film of the year, and very possibly one of the funniest ever made. Up there with The Naked Gun in terms of quick-fire gags, Borat never lets up, and never fails to delight and shock either. This is a masterclass in comedy, and the perpetrator, Sacha Baron Cohen, has created a cultural icon with his moustachioed Kazakh. While Naked Gun spoofed American cinema, Borat spoofs America itself only showing real people in real situations, and how they react when their perception of what is normal is invaded by a lewd, racist dinosaur of a man. Consider the following exchange between Borat and a gun shop owner: Borat: "What gun is best for killing a jew?". Shopkeeper: "Well, that'd be a .45". As it deftly carves open an underbelly of below-average intelligence, homophobia and general narrow-mindedness in the US, consider this: Is this the film Michael Moore wishes he made?

3. Casino Royale
James Bond is so well-known, and has had so much exposure this year that there's not alot I can say that hasn't been said, but Casino Royale isn't just a brilliant Bond film, it's a brilliant film. Based on such a simple premise - British spy must beat terrorist at poker - Casino Royale shows a darker, grittier side to a universal icon, and manages to flesh out what was the shortest of the original Bond book, without deviating from the tone of the book. The film is a touch too long perhaps, and I may be old fashioned but the product placement does become slightly irritating after a while, but there's enough thrills and spills here to dismiss those complaints as nitpicking. This is a great action movie, owing much to Jack Bauer and John McClane, but ultimately to Ian Fleming.

2. United 93
Using the actual people who were involved in the event that is the subject of your dramatization might seem like a pretty risky thing to do. These people are not actors, they have had no formal training. You can make a film as realistically as you want, but it will involve some degree of acting skills. Fortunately, Paul Greengrass is such a talented director that he can make it work without professionals in front of the camera. Yet this was not United 93's greatest achievement. To make a film about such an atrocity, a mere five years after the event, when the subject is incredibly touchy anyway, is also a pretty risky thing to do. How would the potential audiences react - many could be too uncomfortable watching such a realistic account of an event they were personally caught up in - as many Americans were. Luckily for Greengrass, everyone involved thought it was an acceptable risk to take, and we were blessed with a classic of modern cinema. Of all the films released this year, United 93 is the one most likely to still be talked about in 2026. An outstanding achievement, and so delicately handled.

1. Children of Men
I think that Children of Men is my favourite film of the year because it is a realistic portrayal of a possible future, it is set in a city that I now know quite well, it is a British film that wasn't made by Guy Ritchie or Richard Curtis, and it is incredibly engaging and enthralling in equal measures. The premise is this: The human race can no longer reproduce, and the governments have all gone a bit crazy as they do what they can to survive. Civil unrest is out of control, and the military are using any means necessary to keep order. All immigrants are being deported, and the seaside town of Bexhill has been turned into a massive concentration camp where the prisoners are hardly given rooms with en-suite bathrooms. Then a pregnant woman is discovered, and she needs to be protected from the authorities by a group of outlaws. Children of Men is original, inspiring, and features some incredible scenes, such as Clive Owen emerging from a bullet strewn building with a new born baby as everyone ceases fire, only for the fighting to start again the second the child is out of harms way. A poignant dystopia, and I can't wait until it comes out on DVD.

My year in words

Tomorrow my mini-break to Scotland comes to an abrupt end as I head back to the real world. In what will probably be the longest commute ever, I need to travel the 459 miles from Cupar to Enfield as I'm due to be on shift at 1pm. I reckon dedication to ones profession to that extent is rarely seen outside of hospitals, and to traverse such a distance in time involves leaving the house at 7am tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it. I was happily chatting away earlier to friends of my parents, Sue and Ceri, an immensely likeable couple with whom we've been friends with since I was about three years old, and telling them about my longing to quit retail and do something different for a while.

Sue and Ceri are the sort of people that are no longer at the stage where everything is taken seriously - the same as my parents in that respect. The sort of age where you've gotten pretty much all you can from your career, waiting until you can retire into a life of whisky tastings and endless tinkering. The sort of age where if you haven't already got one, it becomes mandatory to own a shed. The sort of age I'm looking forward to being, because it's the closest you'll ever get to being as care-free as a young adult, but with all the wisdom and knowledge of an older one. Ceri is a solicitor as is my Dad, and sold my flat for me last year. They lost their 20 year old daughter only a few months ago, so the end of the year has been difficult for them, but this evening they were on top form, which is more than commendable. You will rarely meet a more genial couple.

It became clear during the conversation that not only is my time as a resident of London (and, albeit temporarily, the UK) coming to an end, but so is an era of my life. I'm not sure the era can be succinctly summarised, but it does definately feel like it, which is the most important thing I suppose. I also came to the conclusion (with Sue and Ceri's help) that the break I am about to embark on, after six and a half years of working in retail, is well deserved.

So that's it then, 2006 was a year where I got a bit of a change of scenery, proved to myself that I can be a manager in a supermarket in a slightly more challenging location than Cupar, and was parted from the love of my life by the lure of travelling. I also made one or two new friends, proving that I'm not a miserly old sod yet, and probably drank more alcohol in six months than I had done in the previous six years combined. Hardly the most notable of achievements I know, but they mean something to me, and it's a year I will always recall fondly.

I read a few journal entries from the summer earlier, and I didn't realise it at the time, but my summer actually had a theme. Alot of people can talk about a year, and say things like "Ahh, that was the year when the gang and I went to Glastonbury" or "that was the summer we spent on beaches in Cornwall learning to surf". When I recall 2006, the summer seems to have been filled with drinking in pubs with Jen and her friends in various Surrey towns and villages. Guildford, Richmond and Kingston, to name but few. So despite the feeling that I didn't do anything this summer, I enjoyed it immensely, and my only regret is that I didn't document it in more detail. Kingston is a lovely place, somewhere I could quite happily settle. I said it at the time, but it really does remind me of Dundee.

So the long, hot summer was punctuated by several bursts of adventure, and when not in pubs Jen and I were in theme parks, so I suppose I should recall that aspect of the summer too. We had a lovely weekend up at Alton Towers, and spent many a day baking in the sun at Thorpe Park.

It is regrettable that my fabulous summer, which lasted from May to September, was bookended by two periods of what was (and is) essentially waiting, the beginning of the year when I was waiting for a job to come up in London, and the end of the year, when I am waiting for February to come so I can pack my bags and be with Jen again. But I can't let that detract from what was really a lovely year overall. All I want now is for things to pick up again. That can't be too much to ask for, can it?

Thoughts about hookers

I am as concerned (and morbidly curious, I might add) about the spate of serial killings that have taken place in Ipswich, but I can't help but think some of the working girls aren't quite grasping the gravity of the situation. There are alot of girls still working the red light area despite the fact that five bodies have been found in ten days, two of which had been submerged in water. One girl interviewed said "We are sticking in pairs, and I'm carrying a brick in my handbag."

Now, I'm no expert, but if you're faced with the threat of a serial killer who submerges his victims in water, it's probably best not to weigh yourself down.

Good hospitality

I went to see my Mum in hospital tonight, she's okay, been through alot though so she is completely exhausted, but all things considered she's in good shape. She's in a nice quiet room, there's only four rooms on the ward so it's not busy which is good, and she says the nurses are all fantastic.

It's very weird visiting the hospital, when you walk in the main entrance you arrive in a concourse with shops up either side, it's like a 1980's shopping center, and the only clues that you're in a hospital is that the guy flicking through the latest issue of Model Railway Monthly in WH Smith is in his slippers and dressing gown, dragging a saline drip behind him. Also in this little concourse are a hairdressers, cafe, shoe shop and a travel agent. Yeah, a travel agent. I thought that was weird too. I might be missing the point but isn't that slightly cruel? Surely that's the equivalent of the "Here's what you could have won" moments at the end of game shows. You know the bit where the screen pulls back to reveal a top of the range BMW convertible, and the poor contestant is left standing there with a twenty pound BHS voucher and some cookware. Needless to say, it was closed.

Of course hospitals nowadays wouldn't be hospitals without the huddled group of smokers at the entrance. It always amazes me that you're allowed to do that anywhere near a hospital, but I suppose it would be a "human rights" violation if they banned it. Considering what a killer it is these days though, it's surprising.
"Nurse, where's the smoking section?"
"Oh, it's right outside next to the hit-and-run section, just past the drug dealers and the firing range..."

A joke

My favourite joke just now is... "I went into PC World the other day... you gotta watch what you say in there!"

Jolly coppers on parade

Here's a quote I overheard when I was watching fire engines the other day. Three youths had approached one of the policemen on duty at the scene of the fire:

POLICEMAN: Shouldn't you lot be in school?
YOUTH: Nah, I go to college, innit?
POLICEMAN: No, it's 'I go to college, don't I?', not 'innit'. We know you go 'in it'.

Now that's the kind of sentences I'd like to see the law handing out. Instead of jail time and community service, you could be ordered to use gramatically correct speech for a period of time. I think I'll pop down Scotland Yard later on and present my ideas.